Tuesday, June 19, 2007
A Perfect Match
So, for the incredibly mediocre “front runner" of an increasingly pathetic Donklephant Party, her frightened sheep supporters picked a completely bland, pathetic, lifeless song WRITTEN FOR AN AD CAMPAIGN. It’s a perfect fit, really it is.
Celine Dion perfectly sums up the Clinton Party. Bombast lacking in actual meaning. Flash with no substance. Warbled doggerel without genuine pain or joy or honest human emotion. Something that is at least a decade or more out of date.
It’s perfect, it really is, in that Hallmark nation, lifeless, lacking-in-style AND substance way that sums up the mushy center-right that the Donklephants chase like mall walkers after fresh-from-the-oven Cinnabon.
Back when I worked in music stores, nothing made me want to slit my throat with the edge of a broken jewelbox more than a new CD by Dion, or the other clones, the “new” Josh Grobin, Andrea Bocelli, Kelly Clarkson ... gak, there are so fucking many of them, with soccer moms and Oprah worshippers rushing in to buy stacks of them, fake emotion from fake talents oversinging fake art to reassure them about the possibility of fake love. We can’t have Canadian-style healthcare, it might piss off her new favorite donors, but we can listen to a bad song by a Canadian for a Canadian airline. Don’t get me wrong ... Canada gave us Neil Young and SCTV and someplace to film Highlander and most everything on basic cable television ... but lets get the GOOD things, (the SUDSY things) from the Great White North, not a mediocre soundtrack for this most mediocre of candidates. I’ve looked forward my whole life to witness the possibility that this country might grow up and elect a woman President, but this is the best we can do?
Sadly it is, like Celine Dion is the “best” thing that the dying music industry can do, one fake diva and tenor after another, challenging no one, saying nothing, touching nothing but people so comfortable in the “middle” that they prefer artifice to honesty.
“You and I” is perfect for Candidate Clinton, perfect for the Donklephants, perfect for the frightened soccer moms and DC press and benighted citizenry that falls for fake terror threats and fake leadership and fake hope and fake withdrawals and fake plans for peace and fake elections. When we leave this smoking ruin behind us, someone out there should broadcast the video as a warning to other species flying by, at what happens when a people amuse themselves to death.